Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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