Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
