Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
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