Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
