Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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