she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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