It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
