...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
