i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
