Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize