I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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