Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED