Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah

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(954): View more from Florida

i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night

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(803): View more from South Carolina

What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.

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(516): View more from New York

Found your pants in the mailbox

(646): View more from New York

What were my pants doing in the mailbox?

(516): View more from New York

I don't know but there's postage on them

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(603): View more from New Hampshire

whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I stole a fireplace last night.

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(419): View more from Ohio

I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away

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(424): View more from California

My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?

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