Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it? http://tfl.nu/zj16
  Replies (16) Good night (2176) Bad night (2193)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later. http://tfl.nu/11rn
  Replies (16) Good night (3851) Bad night (648)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  "fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): "fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house...... http://tfl.nu/xvur
  Replies (8) Good night (3867) Bad night (770)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater. http://tfl.nu/8ycg
  Replies (3) Good night (3349) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower. http://tfl.nu/w3u9
  Replies (11) Good night (2946) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (361): I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots. http://tfl.nu/podd
  Replies (8) Good night (2126) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism. http://tfl.nu/nn7l
  Replies (9) Good night (2093) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (606): Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick. http://tfl.nu/0x12
  Replies (8) Good night (633) Bad night (2171)
• Favorite

  (432): View more from Texas

  she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (432): she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback. http://tfl.nu/m8zb
  Replies (18) Good night (3779) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  We're using joints as your birthday candles

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): We're using joints as your birthday candles http://tfl.nu/y3yt
  Replies (7) Good night (1873) Bad night (467)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week http://tfl.nu/594f
  Replies (1) Good night (834) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came. http://tfl.nu/1nw4
  Replies (8) Good night (897) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank. http://tfl.nu/0iga
  Replies (4) Good night (780) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/angx
  Replies (1) Good night (759) Bad night (250)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (541): I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith. http://tfl.nu/2rsg
  Replies (6) Good night (432) Bad night (172)

Randomize