i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.