We won't sleep together?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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