a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
