she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
