Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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