can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
