Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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