I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize