i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
