I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
