Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
