butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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