the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
