Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
