Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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