I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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