Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
