Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
