butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
