She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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