Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
