my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
