i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
