I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
