champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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