k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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