You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
