She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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