weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
