Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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