toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
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