accomplished twins. life is a go
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
