do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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