u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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