You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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