You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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