i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
