random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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