My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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