I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize