Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
