ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
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