I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
