And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I don't deserve a penis
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
