I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
