Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
