im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize
