you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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