That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
