last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
